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"Before I joined the Espionage mailing list, my suits were high-tech but my nails? Meh. Now, they're weaponized glam. These emails are smarter than J.A.R.V.I.S. and honestly, more reliable. I subscribed, and now I have 300% more sparkle and 0% existential dread. Worth it."

"Before the Espionage Cosmetics emails, my sparkle-to-mood ratio was critically low. Now? I’m leaving trails of glitter strong enough to blind a small dragon. Subscribing was like finding a double rainbow with a pot of eternal fabulousness at the end. 10/10 would prance into my inbox again."

"Emotionally, I am a barren wasteland. But receiving Espionage Cosmetics emails every week fills me with a dark, giddy joy that could almost be mistaken for hope. Almost. It’s like a raven landing on your shoulder and whispering, 'Your nails could be more powerful.' I subscribed. I regret nothing."

"They said my assignment was low-risk. They lied. But before things... happened, I subscribed to the Espionage Cosmetics emails. Best decision of my entire tragically short career. Even vaporized, my nails slay. Somewhere in the stars, I sparkle."